Christmas Humor

Christmas Blues

Oh, Christmas! Hurry and come. Then hurry and go!
Eighty degree weather down south… we wanted a little snow
A miracle! My face dampened by a large snowflake
No, no. It’s just a bird dropping. My mistake

A fashion model singing a line of “Santa, Baby”???
Please, Santa, slip voice lessons under her tree
Heading to the office party but not because I want to
The boss gave me a special invitation… “If I have to be there, so do you!”

Drank so much eggnog, I could just hurl
It must have been spiked… that cute guy turned out to be a girl
Yikes! A Grinch look-a-like tried to kiss me under the mistletoe
Hold up, wait! Hey, that’s my boss! Ho, ho, hell no!

No need to make a list ‘cause I never get my wish
Last year I asked for a diamond. All I got was a gold fish
The year before that, all I wanted was a new car
Santa left a certificate for my very own registered star

Oh, Christmas! I’m beggin’… hurry and come. Then hurry and go!
Too many stores and sidewalk Santas trying to separate me from my dough
Maybe I’ll make a new list. This time Santa might actually care…
I had a mishap with a curling iron, Santa dear. Please bring me some hair!




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