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December 1, 2012

Getting Caught by Catfish

When someone says catfish, most of us think of the ugly creatures with whiskers that lurk at the bottom of the lake.  When Dr. Phil defines them, they are people who pretend to be someone they are not in order to lure and reel in unsuspecting women and men hoping to find love online.

My first taste of catfish left a lasting impression. They were breaded and fried to a beautiful golden brown.  Although I had never eaten that type of fish before, I knew in my gut that I would not fare well if I partook of it. On that fateful day, I allowed co-workers to talk me into having it for lunch because a grateful client had volunteered to come in and prepare the catfish and fresh hush puppies for us as a "thank you." What a nice gesture! With everyone telling me how that man's catfish lunch was such a treat, I ignored what I knew to be true for me and joined them for the meal.

Of course, Dr. Phil's show had nothing to do with real catfish. It had everything to do with a group of women who had been lured and caught in the nasty net of a devious predator whose fish pond was the vast waters of the Internet.  The bait was a handsome man with the much admired six pack abs, chiseled arms, and a strong athletic frame. Few women would rebuff his attention.

A skillful fisherman, this man said all the right things to hook at least twenty-six women and get them emotionally invested in him without ever having met him face to face. Most of them considered themselves to be in a relationship with him. The problem with fish hooks is that they pierce the flesh of the fish it catches and leaves a hole. That has to be painful even if the fish caught is released.  Yes, this man caused quite a bit of pain.  One woman resorted to cutting herself as a way of relieving her heartache.

As it turned out, the handsome athletic man was himself a victim.  His pictures and information were being used without his knowledge or consent.  And by a woman!  He only found out about the duplicity when a Dr. Phil producer tracked him down and made him aware of what had happened.

Dr. Phil featured three women who were willing to speak out about the new catfish, the online predator -- not the lake dweller. They are still hurting from the damage the catfish/predator caused. If you missed today's show, catch the show about exposing catfish that airs on MTV on Monday nights created by a man who once found himself on the hook.

If you were once lured and caught but managed to wiggle free, Dr. Phil has a new book called Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World he's promoting to help us guard against falling victim to predators no matter where they troll for prey. Based upon the details he's revealed on his shows over the past few weeks, it will be helpful to many.  It should probably be required reading for any child old enough to read and comprehend it. Parents can't watch their kids 24/7 so the best alternative is to arm them with knowledge.

Oh yeah, I should tell you how my catfish lunch ended.  As soon as the catfish hit my mouth, that weird sensation that causes the mouth to immediately salivate excessively while causing a sharp pain in the jawline and instant queasiness caused me to gag.  I was sick for two days.  And the manager had the nerve to ask everyone to give the client $5.00 for the meal to defray his costs.  So, I was hungry, sick and out of five bucks for a meal that I didn't want to partake of in the first place that was supposed to be a "thank you" to us (I translated that to mean at no cost to me) all because I ignored my instincts in favor of other people's opinions and desires.  We get that funny feeling in our gut for a reason.  Don't ignore it.  That's usually when we go wrong and get caught in someone else's net.