I finally learned...

Sometimes things happen to cause us to reflect on various aspects of our lives and we realize that the good times, the bad times and even the so-so times contained lessons that might have been bold and slapped us upside the head or were subtle and almost missed.  I'm sure I've probably missed some lessons and forgotten others.  The list below contains the ones that came to mind yesterday.  It's rather long but I think it's worth the read.

What valuable lessons have you learned?  Feel free to share yours.  You just might bless someone with your words of wisdom.

Peace and blessings,
Sunida

I finally learned that...

~ Sincerity doesn't always accompany a smile, applause, a pat on the back or a handshake.

~ Karma is only a bitch if you are.

~ Net worth is not nearly as valuable as good character and positive self-worth.

~ If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I should be beholding me.

~ I don't need to tell you how you did me wrong.  You did it, so you know.

~ You can't help someone who is unwilling to cooperate or compromise to get what he or
   she needs.

~ If I tell you the truth and you don't believe me, that's not my problem.

~ My worth is not dependent upon your opinion of me.

~ Laughter soothes the soul temporarily.  Love heals it permanently.

~ I can only be accountable for my actions or lack thereof.

~ I don't have to like you to treat you with dignity and respect.

~ It's better to use words that build up, strengthen, and uplift instead of those that tear  
   down, rip apart, and destroy.

~ Your harsh judgment of me is always trumped by God's grace and mercy for me.

~  I don't know everything but what I do know can't be compromised, dismissed, or taken away.

~  Just because someone said it doesn't mean it's true.

~  I should be okay with what I see in the mirror but I can still improve.

~  Revenge should be left to God.  He's much better at it.

~  What you construe as crazy could actually be your inability to comprehend.

~  My desire and attempt to help you will always fail if you don't try to help yourself.

~  It doesn't matter if you like me nearly as much as whether I like me.

~  I should just accept the compliment and say thank you.

~  People's expectations of me rarely jive with my potential or actual ability.  The latter
    is more important.

~ The energy I wasted hating you would have been better spent and more powerful if
    I used it to love me or someone worthy.

~ Negativity drains.  Positivity boosts.

~  Still, quiet moments are invaluable because they allow you to recharge.  Enjoy your
    own company sometimes.

~ Following the crowd often leads you down the wrong path.
~ Friends who do unkind things behind your back are enemies in disguise.

~  You can speak your mind without being nasty, rude, or obnoxious.

~  Your actions and what you refuse or fail to do are more telling than anything you say.

~  Your dislike of me is a bigger problem for you than it is for me.

~  Those in pain tend to hurt others.  Perhaps misery really does love company.

~  I can be done with you without being mad at you.

~  An explanation, no matter how detailed, bears no guarantee that the listener will truly
   hear, understand, or empathize.

~ While I can control my actions, I can only observer and counter yours.

~  Just because you don't know what I'm talking about doesn't mean that I don't know what
   I'm talking about or that I'm not speaking the truth.

~ Even small accomplishments should be celebrated.  They are the stepping stones to the
   big ones.

~  Apologizing when warranted is not a sign of weakness.  It's a sign of strength and
   maturity.

~  Learning to compromise is an invaluable lesson.

~  Giving birth does not make one a mother.  How well you treat the child does.

~  Wealth is not a measure of what you have but how you use what you have.

~  Pretense falls apart eventually.

~  Having the means to help someone in need but not the heart, courage, or inclination to  
   do so is useless and egregious.

~ Truth is a matter of perspective and is often disputed.  Ask for the factual evidence
   instead.

~  Participating in the conception of a child does not make one a father nor does it make one a man.

~  We all have something to give.  Time, compassion, knowledge, and talents are just as
    important and helpful as money.

~ Friends are the people who stick around when it's inconvenient or uncomfortable.

~  Being selfish or self-absorbed is easy but so is extending oneself.

~  I'd rather stand on sound truth than fall from a collapsed lie any day.

Copyright © 2013  Sunida E. York   All rights reserved.

It's a brand New Year! What are you going to do with it?

Happy 2013!!!  2012 is now a memory and you have a brand-spanking new year in front of you.  What will you do with it? Perhaps you'll find a new job to replace the one you dread going to.  Hey, if you get a headache just driving into the parking lot, it's probably time to find a new way to earn a paycheck.  Maybe this year you'll finally get yourself organized and throw out all of the old stuff you've been hanging onto in case you need it one day.  Seriously, if you haven't needed it during 2012 and all of the previous years, it's doubtful that you'll ever need it again.  Will this be the year you become an entrepreneur, work the kinks out of your invention, go Hollywood or just get that divorce you've been wanting? Whatever it is that causes your heart to beat a little faster or your mind race at the thought of doing it, I truly hope that 2013 will be your year!

Many of us did not accomplish all of the important things we had on our "To Do" lists, so you are in good company there.  However, none of us wish to stay in that sphere.  We all want to be successful, clear that list of things to do, and do a George Jefferson --- move on up.

With the economy kicking our butts at every turn - rising prices and falling employment opportunities - it will not be easy to remain positive.   And, of course, any failures of 2012 could continue to dampen our enthusiasm and make us hesitate to jump back into the fray.  Sitting on the sidelines won't make things any better; to accomplish anything, we must do the work.

So, what's on my list that I haven't done?  Well, it has quite a few items but there are two major things that I want to finish this year.  The first thing that I'd like to scratch off of my list is finishing my first novel that I began six (yes, 6) long years ago.  Why didn't I finish? Well, it wasn't writer's block but more like life block .  I could give you a long list of reasons, excuses or what have you, but it was simply life.   We all have obstacles in life that effectively keep us separated from some level or form of success we're hoping to achieve.  I was unable to remove the obstacles - and believe me, I tried my damnedest.  Consequently, I failed to finish my novel even though I am almost done. But we all know that almost doesn't count.  So, 2013 arrived at midnight to find Yalaena Live!  still incomplete.

The next item on the list that does not have a line drawn threw it is making a demo so that the fantastic lyrics I write can be pitched to an established producer like Vincent Herbert, Andre Harrell, L.A. Reid, or Corte Ellis.  My dream as it pertains to the music business is to hear my songs being sung by Mariah, Mary J, Tamar, Jennifer Hudson, Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, etc.  It's as though I can hear what you're thinking - do I really think my lyrics are that good? I absolutely do. My lyrics have depth. They are not the fluff being played these days.  My songs are for people who really blow, baby!  So, why haven't I made a demo?  No music to accompany my lyrics and no funds for studio time.  Sounds simple enough but these are hurdles that must be jumped and I can't seem to clear them.  You guessed it... 2013 found me with my songs incomplete.

One thing that the new year found me with is faith.  I still believe that I can finish Yalaena Live! and find a way to get my music done.  I've been struggling for many years now to defeat the problems that have been plaguing me but that in itself could be the problem.  The answer could be as simple as finding a way around the obstacles instead of trying to completely rid myself of them.  There are some things that cannot be eradicated but they can be bypassed or maneuvered around.  You can't move the mountain, but you can climb it.   You can't remove the river, but you can find a way across it.  You get the idea.

While the new year does not bring with it a new, clean slate, it does bring the opportunity to get back to the task of making your dreams come true.   Work on it, no matter what "it" happens to be,  every chance you get.  When fear and/or doubt intrude as uninvited and unwanted guests, cut their visit short and keep working.   Become just selfish enough to make your projects priorities instead of options.  Do the necessary to obtain the elusive.

2013 is our year!  I'm claiming it for me and especially for you!

With love,
Sunida

Getting Caught by Catfish

When someone says catfish, most of us think of the ugly creatures with whiskers that lurk at the bottom of the lake.  When Dr. Phil defines them, they are people who pretend to be someone they are not in order to lure and reel in unsuspecting women and men hoping to find love online.

My first taste of catfish left a lasting impression. They were breaded and fried to a beautiful golden brown.  Although I had never eaten that type of fish before, I knew in my gut that I would not fare well if I partook of it. On that fateful day, I allowed co-workers to talk me into having it for lunch because a grateful client had volunteered to come in and prepare the catfish and fresh hush puppies for us as a "thank you." What a nice gesture! With everyone telling me how that man's catfish lunch was such a treat, I ignored what I knew to be true for me and joined them for the meal.

Of course, Dr. Phil's show had nothing to do with real catfish. It had everything to do with a group of women who had been lured and caught in the nasty net of a devious predator whose fish pond was the vast waters of the Internet.  The bait was a handsome man with the much admired six pack abs, chiseled arms, and a strong athletic frame. Few women would rebuff his attention.

A skillful fisherman, this man said all the right things to hook at least twenty-six women and get them emotionally invested in him without ever having met him face to face. Most of them considered themselves to be in a relationship with him. The problem with fish hooks is that they pierce the flesh of the fish it catches and leaves a hole. That has to be painful even if the fish caught is released.  Yes, this man caused quite a bit of pain.  One woman resorted to cutting herself as a way of relieving her heartache.

As it turned out, the handsome athletic man was himself a victim.  His pictures and information were being used without his knowledge or consent.  And by a woman!  He only found out about the duplicity when a Dr. Phil producer tracked him down and made him aware of what had happened.

Dr. Phil featured three women who were willing to speak out about the new catfish, the online predator -- not the lake dweller. They are still hurting from the damage the catfish/predator caused. If you missed today's show, catch the show about exposing catfish that airs on MTV on Monday nights created by a man who once found himself on the hook.

If you were once lured and caught but managed to wiggle free, Dr. Phil has a new book called Life Code: The New Rules for Winning in the Real World he's promoting to help us guard against falling victim to predators no matter where they troll for prey. Based upon the details he's revealed on his shows over the past few weeks, it will be helpful to many.  It should probably be required reading for any child old enough to read and comprehend it. Parents can't watch their kids 24/7 so the best alternative is to arm them with knowledge.

Oh yeah, I should tell you how my catfish lunch ended.  As soon as the catfish hit my mouth, that weird sensation that causes the mouth to immediately salivate excessively while causing a sharp pain in the jawline and instant queasiness caused me to gag.  I was sick for two days.  And the manager had the nerve to ask everyone to give the client $5.00 for the meal to defray his costs.  So, I was hungry, sick and out of five bucks for a meal that I didn't want to partake of in the first place that was supposed to be a "thank you" to us (I translated that to mean at no cost to me) all because I ignored my instincts in favor of other people's opinions and desires.  We get that funny feeling in our gut for a reason.  Don't ignore it.  That's usually when we go wrong and get caught in someone else's net. 

 

Felicia Moss Eaton: The Lord Is My Shepherd

Although I regret the occasion upon which I first heard the 23rd Psalm being sung, I feel blessed to have been introduced to the passionate and touching vocals of Felicia Moss Eaton.  She lead the choir as they performed at the funeral of beloved music icon Whitney Houston.  I still remember watching the live stream and wondering who this talented lead singer was, especially since there were many moments during the song that her voice was so similar to Whitney's. Was she related to Whitney, perhaps? I didn't know the answer to that question but I did know that she breathed life into David's Psalm.  She absolutely tore it up!

Just by chance a few days ago, the song suddenly came to mind so I decided to try to find it on Youtube.  Thank God, a few people had posted it.  As I read the comments, someone confirmed my suspicions. The lead singer was identified as one of Whitney's first cousins. Felicia's mother, Anne Drinkard Moss, is the sister of Emily "Cissy" Drinkard Houston.  Felicia has sung background for Whitney and their cousin Dionne Warwick.

Of all the performances at Whitney's funeral, this was my favorite.  Several celebrity singers turned out to help send Whitney home in a fashion befitting such an incomparable musical talent but in my humble opinion, none of the "stars" shined as brightly as this vocalist who was simply a member of the choir to many of us who had never heard her name uttered before. I am thoroughly enjoying this song and I hope that you  will as well. I would love to see Felicia and the choir perform it in person one day.




"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."  ~ Psalm 23:6

Tyler Perry called me a...

I was just thinking that I need to complete the novel I started like 7 years ago but never finished. I have  countless poems to type and organize into book format. Song lyrics need to be typed and at least crudely recorded so that I don't forget the arrangement. Movie scripts and television show concepts are running through my head.  So much to do, so little time. Each new start towards completing my goal gets interrupted by something... migraine headaches, overwhelming fatigue, someone needs me to do this, that or the other.  Excuses, excuses, reasons, problems, blah, blah & more blah.   So, I was surprised to find this message from Tyler Perry in my email. Okay, I am not special. I don't know Tyler. I am one of millions of fans who subscribe to his newsletter. But, I promise you, I felt like he was speaking directly to me today.  And he called me the dreaded D word.   Hey Sunida, IF YOU QUIT OR GIVE UP THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE IT!! Process that and get back in the fight, DREAMER! You can do it. Your coach,

Dreamer!!! You know, people who have big plans but never actually make good on them.  There are always road blocks and problems... real or imagined, important or insignificant, difficult or easy, but effective. Yes, if they derail your plans, hogtie your hopes and deflate your aspirations, it doesn't matter what the reasons are, they are effective and that is all that should matter. Whatever is holding you back, has turned you into a dreamer.  I say "you" because I know that I am not alone.  There are numerous people who have gotten this message from Tyler Perry who feel that he is speaking directly to them as well.

Mr. Perry, I will not take this lying down!  No, sir! I will finish my first novel, YaLaena Live! I will put together my books of poetry, do basic recordings of my song lyrics, write my first movie script and somehow get myself elevated past the level of a lowly dreamer. I have readers, movie goers, music lovers and television viewers to entertain. I was born to be an inspiration. And while I am always willing to help others, it's time to put me first and help myself.

Thank you, coach Perry. This reformed dreamer is claiming her status as a writer. Who's with me?

Days of Our Lives' Lexie DiMera Carver Dies

Lexie’s Farewell

Like a leaf in the fall that shakes loose from its tree

Lexie shook her illness and now she’s free

But don’t shed a tear for Lexie Carver

A beautiful soul has left its harbor

Sailing off to a better place

A thought like that should put a smile on your face

You know Lex… she wouldn’t want you to cry

She’d prefer to see a twinkle in your lovely eye

So instead, today we should celebrate her life

The time she spent as a great friend, cherished daughter, mother and wife

Sunida E. York  © 2012  All Rights Reserved

Online Fit delivering a better online shopping experience.

Ladies, how many times have you shopped online and  found the perfect garment only to be disappointed because it didn't fit and you had to return it? Chalk that up to a waste of time and effort. To make matters worse, you had to repeat the process or (heaven forbid) go to the mall. That's enough to make you decide that you don't need a new blouse after all and call it day!


Hold on, girl... Online Fit is the solution to that problem.  Imagine a virtual tool that allows you to try on clothes before you put the wrong size in your online shopping cart. No need to imagine it. Online Fit has made it a reality.  You give your measurements and it gives you the right size based on the cut and style of the outfit you select.  Fantastic, right? After watching the video demonstration, I felt like I do after watching an episode of Shark Tank --- Why didn't I think of that? It inspired this little poem (hey, it comes naturally! What's a girl to do but write it down?).

                                           Online Fit

You go online to buy pants, a blouse, or the skirt with the sexy high split

All you want is to get it in your waiting hands and have it fit

If only you could try it on online… oh, just a silly dream

Until OnlineFit, the virtual sizing tool that will make you scream!

In delight when OnlineFit helps you decide on the perfect size

You supply your measurements and it helps you customize

So if your favorite online retailer doesn’t have it, send an inquiry

Tell them to make your shopping experience more enjoyable and hassle free

Ask why they don’t have it. Ask when they’ll get it

Tell them to contact Tricia. They won’t regret it!

Shoppers and retailers can both have a positive reaction

With far less returns, time saved and increased satisfaction

Sunida E. York © 2012    All Rights Reserved

Shopping is something we all have to do at some point. There's no reason it shouldn't be a more enjoyable experience. Mipso makes it possible. Now go get that skirt with the sexy high split!

For more information contact:

Tricia Yurcak

Mipso Inc.

888.591.9881

www.mipso.me

Psst! Entrepreneurs, Shark Tank is casting. Go to the site for details.

Evelyn Lozada: Beautiful Liar

Tonight's episode of Basketball Wives was part two of the reunion. Evelyn and Jennifer took polygraphs but I won't start out writing about that as I want to save the best for last.

First, congratulations to Royce on her successful acting debut. I missed the whole Twitter debacle with Dezmon. Do what's best for you. Next...

When she is not being yelled at and cursed out, it appears that Kesha can indeed speak up for herself. I don't think she and Tami will be friends any time soon. Such is life. I still think Tami is cool peeps. My opinion. I'm entitled. Moving on...

As usual, Suzie got jumped on for running back telling something somebody said. She denies it. I don't remember that scene and I don't care. Suzie, give us something to talk about, girl.

Lots of tears tonight. Shaunie, there's really no reason for you to feel guilty. Yes, you invited the women to join you on the show. No, you are not responsible for them acting up. However, let's not be so quick to call some fans "judgmental". I like "highly opinionated" better. Fans get invested in watching the drama unfold between the ladies they like and the ones they like to hate. Face the facts, fans are not the ones in front of the cameras airing their business and they are not the ones behind the cameras taping it or the ones doing the editing and deciding what to show and how to portray you all. So, to put down the viewers as if they don't realize that it's just mindless entertainment is a bit wrong. And you all don't make it seem any less true when you continue to address your spats in blogs, via twitter, and in interviews. You can't put it all off on the fans as being too judgmental or having too much time on their hands. No one can peek in your window if you close the curtains. But I'm glad you're leaving them open for season five! Seriously, Shaunie, you can't control the other women's behavior, hence your pastor's advice... come up to the mountain and leave the ones who want to stay there in the valley.

Jennifer's polygraph results determined that she was untruthful when she answered "no" to the question of whether she was jealous of Evelyn's relationship with Chad. It happens, Jen. You have to fall back when your single friend gets a man in her life. At least you were able to admit that you miss your friendship. That was key in being able to move forward and repair things.

Now, on to the woman I am calling a beautiful liar... Evelyn Lozada. When asked if she missed her friendship with Jen, Eve tried to be hard (one assumes) and answered "no". It was determined to be a lie. What's beautiful about that? Nothing. But, when John Salley reached for her hand to get her on her feet and over to Jen for a hug, she did not hesitate to rise to the occasion. Jennifer was reluctant (John can be heard saying, "You better get yo ass up?") and stood motionless when she did stand. Stay with me 'cause the beautiful part is coming right now! Evelyn stretched out open arms to Jen and pulled her close for a hug, tears falling. It was a beautiful thing, a precious moment, if you will. In my estimation, that was the best part of the entire two part reunion. Even after Jen said to Evelyn, "I don't want to do this here", Evelyn explained her actions and expressed her regret. And that, Basketball Wives fans, is why I named her Beautiful Liar.

Almost made me tear up. Almost.

Best of luck with piecing your friendships together ladies (all of you)!!!

The Phoenix

For decades, the good people of Salem have been terrorized by the wealthy and all powerful Stefano DiMera. He could make someone disappear without a trace only to return years later as someone else with no memory of his or her former life. The extent of DiMera's debauchery and torment visited upon the Brady and Horton families is expansive and often defies imagination. Until today...

Today, Days of Our Lives began where it left off on Friday, with someone shooting and killing a man who has died many times before but resurfaced just when Salem's residents were relaxed and unsuspecting.

I'm suspicious. Is this truly the finale of the long, virtuous-lacking life of Stefano DiMera? Is his death simply a clever ploy by the incomparable writing team who craft his dazzling crimes behind the scenes? Perhaps the person in that chair with a bullet hole in his back is an operative hired to impersonate DiMera while he is safely ensconced in a government hiding place. Remember, he had cooperated with the CIA or one of those alphabet laden organizations and was hailed a hero just days ago.

Whatever the case, Salem will not be the same without its most prolific and talented villain. Certainly, there are the likes of his son (rather, formerly thought to be son),EJ, his most recent ex-wife, Kate, and the only enemy who was vaguely close to possessing a comparable capacity for evilness, Victor Kiriakis, but one would be positively naive to think that anyone could hold a candle the Phoenix.

Oddly enough, nearly a month ago on May 9th, a poem for Stefano DiMera came to me totally out of the blue. I had no idea that my favorite villain, played so artfully, and with superb skill by Joseph Mascolo, would be coming to the end of his reign of terror. He will be missed.

And so I present to you The Phoenix. Enjoy.



The Phoenix

An untimely demise
In the Brady clan
Usually means Stefano DiMera
Has blood on his hands
Most evil, most vile
Or just gutsy and smart?
He’ll do the deed
When no one else has the heart
If there’s trouble brewing
You know he’s stirring the pot
A cold-blooded villain, but when he rises
From the ashes, the Phoenix keeps Salem hot!



Sunida E. York ©2012
All Rights Reserved

Tyler Perry pleads, "Leave this baby alone!"

Movie mogul Tyler Perry is coming to the defense of Bobbi Kristina, daughter of the late singer and actress Whitney Houston and R&B singer and actor Bobby Brown . Perry has sought to help Krissi, as she is affectionately known to family and friends, deal with her grief by giving her a positive outlet as she continues to feel the loss of her beloved mother. To that end, Perry hired Bobbi K. to appear in his latest TV series, For Better or Worse.

As the old familiar and often true cliché states, "No good deed goes unpunished". An unfounded report has surfaced claiming that young Bobbi K. walked off the set. Perry flatly disputes this report which was undoubtedly engineered for publicity purposes (to sell an article for some celebrity newspaper or TV show). According to Perry's latest newsletter, the show had already completed taping when the allegation was made. In fact, he declares that Bobbi K. finished her obligations and "did a great job".

The newsletter ends with this plea from Tyler Perry:

So please... PLEASE LEAVE THIS BABY ALONE!!!! AND SHE IS A BABY!!! Please stop the lies and give this child some room to breathe and grieve.

IF IT WAS YOUR CHILD WOULND’T YOU WANT THAT?

-Tyler


While I am a fan of Perry's work, I sometimes take issue with his methods. Today is one of those times. It was noble of him to write Bobbi Kristina into his show and allow her to follow her dream of having a career in acting and simultaneously give her something to focus on and keep her occupied while she grieves one of the most devastating losses a person can experience. However, you can't send the lamb to slaughter and then cry foul.

As an experienced actor, writer, director, etc., Tyler Perry has first person knowledge of the cruelty public figures endure at the hands of the media. Although his intentions were good, the plan may have been shortsighted if negative media publicity, real or fabricated, was not considered as a possible result of his efforts. Perhaps, Mr. Perry, you assumed that the underbelly of the media would exercise restraint, employ common decency, and embody simple respect with regards to Bobbi Kristina. Unfortunately, you were mistaken. Evidently, the enigmatic pull and influence of the almighty dollar proved much more important than any courtesy that could have been afforded a grieving teenager regardless of her famous pedigree.

Your efforts to assist Bobbi K. are still worthy of admiration, Tyler, but perhaps you could have inquired as to whether she would be interested in learning how the acting business works behind the scenes until she is emotionally solvent enough to handle public criticism. While your attention is focused on the false media report right now, there will be detractors in the viewership as well. People will critique her acting ability and some of their responses to her debut will be less than flattering.

This would be a good time to come to her aid before negative impact can be achieved and share some of your strategies for blocking out the negative noise, using the positive comments as fuel for the soul, and growing thick skin all while remaining grounded and true to oneself. If this has already been done, it never hurts to reinforce the lesson.

From this viewer's vantage point, Bobbi Kristina is poised for a bright future with the help of family, friends and fans. So speak up and drown out the unnecessary noise of those daring to sidetrack this young lady's destiny.

Miss Brown, there will be times when it is difficult to know who has your best interest at heart. Those are the moments that require quiet reflection, introspection, and an audience with whatever spirituality you ascribe your serenity to. Stay strong!

"I wish you would!"

VH1's  Basketball Wives knows how to bring the drama with constant arguments between the women who, oddly enough, claim to be friends.  Each week, somebody's gettin' a good cussin' out. These days, drama translates to more than just venomous words... it means physical violence.

Things have escalated so much so that viewers, spurred on by talk show host Wendy Williams, are boycotting the show and are petitioning online prevent Evelyn Lozada from having a spin-off show due to her "bullying". Some fans are offended that women are shown in such a turbulent angry red haze --- throwing a full bottle of wine at someone's head, slapping someone in the face, and jumping on a table to run and dive on the other chick.

While I understand how those who have taken offense feel, I can understand how easy it is to let your anger get the better of you as well. Been there many times.  Will still go there if necessary.  So, I'm not boycotting or signing that petition because I feel like Tami and Evelyn are me, just in a different city and on TV.  This chick ain't mad at them. You have to stand up for yourself. And some of us are just magnets for drama. Not that we want to be but it likes us.

Let's get to what I can't understand.  The slap heard around the world. That situation has been stuck in my craw since the episode aired weeks ago.  It was brought up again tonight and the asinine attempt to  justify it (again) was so ridiculous, I have to speak on it.

The argument went like so:



So, chick gets up and comes around the long a$$ table to do just that. Slap Jen in her freakin' face.  Jen just sits there as though she doesn't see this girl coming for her.  WTF, Jen? Are you out of your M Fing mind?  I don't care how refined and bougie you are, you don't hold still and let a b!+ch smack the damn taste out of your mouth. You should have been on your feet with that six inch heel in your freakin' hand by the time she made it around that table. What!! Girl, if I could've, I would have reached through the TV and slapped your a$$ right after she did just because you sat there and let her do it.  Now that's what I can't understand.  Why would you not even attempt to protect and defend yourself when you knew she was on her way to get you? See, that's what the viewers should be boycotting, stupidity like that. That kinda crap should have people scratching their heads in amazement.  I won't be the first one to resort to violence, but if you attack me, it's on, baby!  Cuss and scream all you want to but don't put your damn hands on me.

The other thing that I don't understand is the crazy (I'm being nice) explanation for why Jen was slapped.  As of tonight, it has been said at least twice that she "asked" to be slapped.  You heifers are crazy.  Quit playing stupid 'cause the viewers aren't that dumb that they're buying that crap.  Everybody knows that when you're in a heated argument and someone makes a threat and the other person responds with, "I wish you would" or "I wish you might", even prefaced by the word "yeah", it is not an invitation for you to carry out your threat.  It is a warning, plain and simple.  Translated, it means, 1) "Go ahead and try it and see what happens, fool!"; 2) "Come on over here; you'll get the best a$$ whippin' you ever had 3) "Um hmm! You might act crazy but you know better.

Sadly, in Jen's case, it simply meant, "Okay, I'll be waiting, girl."  But ladies, please stop trying to convince us that Jen invited that chick to slap her. Pure nonsense!  You seem foolish each time you say it.  And the lawsuit, well, it might be a bit much to us chicks who don't mind scrapping; but, clearly, Jen is not that chick.  Even if she was at some point in her past, she has distanced herself from such behavior and she prefers to do her battle in the legal arena. To each her own. You choose the action, you have to live with the consequences.  The slap got you a few moments of fame but Jen is taggin' that a$$ in court.

Does that mean that chick asked for the lawsuit? I think it does. Oh, and if you're wondering why I'm calling her "chick", I don't remember her name and she just seemed so random, like she didn't belong there with the group. That is all.  Now go play nice!


P.S.  I found this  article on TMZ  and the Youtube video above. Her name is Nia.