"I wish you would!"

VH1's  Basketball Wives knows how to bring the drama with constant arguments between the women who, oddly enough, claim to be friends.  Each week, somebody's gettin' a good cussin' out. These days, drama translates to more than just venomous words... it means physical violence.

Things have escalated so much so that viewers, spurred on by talk show host Wendy Williams, are boycotting the show and are petitioning online prevent Evelyn Lozada from having a spin-off show due to her "bullying". Some fans are offended that women are shown in such a turbulent angry red haze --- throwing a full bottle of wine at someone's head, slapping someone in the face, and jumping on a table to run and dive on the other chick.

While I understand how those who have taken offense feel, I can understand how easy it is to let your anger get the better of you as well. Been there many times.  Will still go there if necessary.  So, I'm not boycotting or signing that petition because I feel like Tami and Evelyn are me, just in a different city and on TV.  This chick ain't mad at them. You have to stand up for yourself. And some of us are just magnets for drama. Not that we want to be but it likes us.

Let's get to what I can't understand.  The slap heard around the world. That situation has been stuck in my craw since the episode aired weeks ago.  It was brought up again tonight and the asinine attempt to  justify it (again) was so ridiculous, I have to speak on it.

The argument went like so:



So, chick gets up and comes around the long a$$ table to do just that. Slap Jen in her freakin' face.  Jen just sits there as though she doesn't see this girl coming for her.  WTF, Jen? Are you out of your M Fing mind?  I don't care how refined and bougie you are, you don't hold still and let a b!+ch smack the damn taste out of your mouth. You should have been on your feet with that six inch heel in your freakin' hand by the time she made it around that table. What!! Girl, if I could've, I would have reached through the TV and slapped your a$$ right after she did just because you sat there and let her do it.  Now that's what I can't understand.  Why would you not even attempt to protect and defend yourself when you knew she was on her way to get you? See, that's what the viewers should be boycotting, stupidity like that. That kinda crap should have people scratching their heads in amazement.  I won't be the first one to resort to violence, but if you attack me, it's on, baby!  Cuss and scream all you want to but don't put your damn hands on me.

The other thing that I don't understand is the crazy (I'm being nice) explanation for why Jen was slapped.  As of tonight, it has been said at least twice that she "asked" to be slapped.  You heifers are crazy.  Quit playing stupid 'cause the viewers aren't that dumb that they're buying that crap.  Everybody knows that when you're in a heated argument and someone makes a threat and the other person responds with, "I wish you would" or "I wish you might", even prefaced by the word "yeah", it is not an invitation for you to carry out your threat.  It is a warning, plain and simple.  Translated, it means, 1) "Go ahead and try it and see what happens, fool!"; 2) "Come on over here; you'll get the best a$$ whippin' you ever had 3) "Um hmm! You might act crazy but you know better.

Sadly, in Jen's case, it simply meant, "Okay, I'll be waiting, girl."  But ladies, please stop trying to convince us that Jen invited that chick to slap her. Pure nonsense!  You seem foolish each time you say it.  And the lawsuit, well, it might be a bit much to us chicks who don't mind scrapping; but, clearly, Jen is not that chick.  Even if she was at some point in her past, she has distanced herself from such behavior and she prefers to do her battle in the legal arena. To each her own. You choose the action, you have to live with the consequences.  The slap got you a few moments of fame but Jen is taggin' that a$$ in court.

Does that mean that chick asked for the lawsuit? I think it does. Oh, and if you're wondering why I'm calling her "chick", I don't remember her name and she just seemed so random, like she didn't belong there with the group. That is all.  Now go play nice!


P.S.  I found this  article on TMZ  and the Youtube video above. Her name is Nia.

Rihanna,Chris Brown case inspires Oprah and Tyra. Pt. 2

NOTE: Dr. Phil is weighing in on this issue on Thursday as well. His segment is titled Love and Lies.

Violence is not the answer for either party, if the truth be told. If your relationship is abusive on any level...emotional, mental or physical, it should not be endured! You deserve better. Love will not be without complications from time to time, but that does not include neglect, intimidation, cruelty, or violence. So, if your relationship is causing you pain, you should be heading for the door.

The following poem is excerpted from my book, "He's Not Your Boyfriend If... She's Not Your Girlfriend If... A Rude, Offensive and Humorous Take on Unrequited Love". By no means am I implying that domestic violence is funny. The book is designed to make people in bad relationships think, open their eyes, look at it from a different perspective, and get out without beating yourself up about it (as women tend to do). The humor is just to make you laugh to lift your spirits. Read the poem. If it's you, get out, girl.

Wrong Far Too Long

If you’re being pushed, punched, kicked, or
slapped in the face...
Leave your abuser. Get to a safe place
So --- you’re staying with him for your
children’s sake
Actually, you’re showing them how much
a human punching bag can take

It’s not worth it. No doubt, he’s wrong
You’ve put up with the pain for far too long

Maybe hitting you is not his thing
He uses verbal abuse to pull your string
Well that is just as bad; it may even be worse
The psychological damage can plague your
life like a curse

Just because he speaks the words doesn’t
mean that they are true. He’s wrong
Listen to your heart, your soul to which God
speaks. You’ve ignored His voice for far
too long

It’s nothing like that, either, you say
Instead, you’ve compromised your morals in
some way
You know “it’s all good.” You’re trying to
keep your man ‘cause he’s “the one”
Yet, you’re ashamed. Your self-respect is
damaged. You regret what you’ve done

Find your strength by being secure in who
you really are. Asking you to be anything
else is wrong
Find your true character, your morals and
your values that have been pushed aside for
far too long

A relationship that damages you physically,
mentally, or morally is wrong
Staying in it a minute more is a minute too
long
Call on your faith. Rally your courage. As
long as you’re alive, you can be strong
But if you let him beat you to death, slay you
emotionally, or bankrupt you morally...
YOU have been wrong. YOU have been wrong --- far too long

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