Rihanna,Chris Brown case inspires Oprah and Tyra. Pt. 2

NOTE: Dr. Phil is weighing in on this issue on Thursday as well. His segment is titled Love and Lies.

Violence is not the answer for either party, if the truth be told. If your relationship is abusive on any level...emotional, mental or physical, it should not be endured! You deserve better. Love will not be without complications from time to time, but that does not include neglect, intimidation, cruelty, or violence. So, if your relationship is causing you pain, you should be heading for the door.

The following poem is excerpted from my book, "He's Not Your Boyfriend If... She's Not Your Girlfriend If... A Rude, Offensive and Humorous Take on Unrequited Love". By no means am I implying that domestic violence is funny. The book is designed to make people in bad relationships think, open their eyes, look at it from a different perspective, and get out without beating yourself up about it (as women tend to do). The humor is just to make you laugh to lift your spirits. Read the poem. If it's you, get out, girl.

Wrong Far Too Long

If you’re being pushed, punched, kicked, or
slapped in the face...
Leave your abuser. Get to a safe place
So --- you’re staying with him for your
children’s sake
Actually, you’re showing them how much
a human punching bag can take

It’s not worth it. No doubt, he’s wrong
You’ve put up with the pain for far too long

Maybe hitting you is not his thing
He uses verbal abuse to pull your string
Well that is just as bad; it may even be worse
The psychological damage can plague your
life like a curse

Just because he speaks the words doesn’t
mean that they are true. He’s wrong
Listen to your heart, your soul to which God
speaks. You’ve ignored His voice for far
too long

It’s nothing like that, either, you say
Instead, you’ve compromised your morals in
some way
You know “it’s all good.” You’re trying to
keep your man ‘cause he’s “the one”
Yet, you’re ashamed. Your self-respect is
damaged. You regret what you’ve done

Find your strength by being secure in who
you really are. Asking you to be anything
else is wrong
Find your true character, your morals and
your values that have been pushed aside for
far too long

A relationship that damages you physically,
mentally, or morally is wrong
Staying in it a minute more is a minute too
long
Call on your faith. Rally your courage. As
long as you’re alive, you can be strong
But if you let him beat you to death, slay you
emotionally, or bankrupt you morally...
YOU have been wrong. YOU have been wrong --- far too long

Copyright ©2006-2009 by Sunida E. York All Rights Reserved

Rihanna,Chris Brown case inspires Oprah and Tyra. Pt. 1

Talk show queen, Oprah Winfrey, will be devoting Thursday's show to the subject of dating violence as will Tyra Banks. Both talk show hosts saw the well publicized, violent altercation between R&B singers Chris Brown and Rihanna as an opportunity to speak out against violence against women. Neither host is a stranger to advocating for women and against abuse. Oprah has done numerous shows over the years aimed at empowering women to leave abusive relationships and helping men to realize that it is never acceptable to abuse a woman, physically, mentally or emotionally. Since hanging up her angel wings and picking up a microphone, Tyra Banks has joined the chorus of voices admonishing violent behavior towards women. Oprah and Tyra feel compelled to attempt to reach the millions of teen aged Rihanna fans that statistics reveal are victims of dating violence.

Chris Brown has been charged with two felonies in the physical attack on Rihanna that left her visibly battered and bruised. It is alleged that he threatened to kill her during the beating. Brown's next court date is April 6, 2009. Celebrities have been weighing in on the incident, some speaking to Rihanna, asking her to carefully consider resuming a relationship with Brown. It has been rumored that the pair have reconciled and are engaged. In addition, Rihanna is said to be pregnant. None of the rumors have been substantiated. Many of the celebrities who spoke about the incident have noted that the allegations leveled against Brown have not been proven and judgement should be saved until such time.

I have been following the case and I am appalled when I hear comments such as, "They're just kids. He's only 18." While his age may attest to his lack of maturity, it does not excuse the beating he allegedly inflicted on Rihanna. Likewise, those who want to blame the victim by claiming that she provoked the attack are not offering a valid excuse. There is no excuse for a man to punch, choke and bite the woman he supposedly loves.