In the last post, I stopped shy
of revealing why the encounter with the stranger was problematic. Let's get
right to it. The lie that I told became unimportant when I realized that I had
been concentrating on the wrong thing. It became much more important that I had
let my guard down, did not pay attention to my surroundings and assumed that my
environment was safe. Any one of those
things can make you vulnerable but altogether they can put you in jeopardy.
As a survivor of Military Sexual Assault, I knew my assailant so I felt no need to be guarded, to keep a close
eye on where he was situated at all times, nor did I think that I was in danger
with him around. I also worried so much about what people would say if they
found out. That should have been the least of my worries.
While discussing it with my
friend, it occurred to me that the lie probably fell out so easily because
subconsciously, I realized that this guy had followed me to an area where I
would likely be alone rather than approach me in the lobby where there were
people (and potential witnesses) everywhere. In other words, his actions likely
took me back to that vulnerable, scary place, even though I wasn't aware at the
time. It's highly probable that instinct kicked in to keep me from making an
already undesirable situation worse. It needed to be done to correct the
mistakes I had already made that landed me in that predicament.
When I'm out by myself, I usually
scan my sector to see who's around, what they're doing and if they appear to be
a potential threat. I pay attention to
gut feelings and act accordingly, and I try never to be around men who eye me
too much. You never know what they're thinking and it's just creepy.
It's a big deal for several reasons. The most obvious should be that women can
never be too careful due to the fact that the average man can overpower a woman
even if she fights back. Men and women alike can easily become victims if
someone sneaks up from behind and gains the advantage. People with devious
intentions hide behind smiles and a kind tone all the time. It only takes a
moment for a situation to go south.
I'm happy that I was closer to
the basement door than I was to that guy.
I think I would have gotten away if I had to run for it. He may be a
perfectly nice man, but something about him following me to that stairwell did
not sit well with me and made me cringe. Weapons are not allowed in the hospital, of
course, and there was nothing available to fend him off if that had become
necessary. My son has taught me some
fantastic moves that the Army never taught me when I was serving, so I can only
hope that I would not panic and employ them correctly. You can always speculate
about what you'd do in a given hostile situation but you'll never know until
you're in it and have to act under pressure.
Honestly, dude has caused me to rethink things. Because I was jolted from my comfort zone, I think that I must go back to the way I used to be. I avoided smiling, especially at men since
most of them are so egotistical that they assume you must want them if you
smile back. I can speak without flashing the teeth. Now, if he's seriously
cute, I might forget and smile while I'm saying "Heeeeey."
Seriously, ladies, whether or not you smile,
please remember to keep your wits about you, be aware of your surroundings and be careful!
Tune in to your instincts and don't dismiss the gut feelings and never assume
that you are safe no matter where you are.
Be proactive and perhaps you won't have to be reactive.
Peace.
Sunida
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